Give Yourself a Hug

It's different than giving yourself a pat on the back; I promise. Giving yourself a hug sounds awkward, and if you think about it literally it most certainly is.

What I mean is, be kind to yourself. When a family member, friend, or significant other has a problem in their life–a loved one passed away, they flunked out of school, they had a terrible day–most of us reassure them with kindness. Most of the time, we probably hug them as well. So why can't we do this for ourselves when we are hurting?

Self-compassion is a topic that has been of great interest to me in the last few months. It's ironic that a person can be categorized as a compassionate one who reaches out to others in need and helps them with genuine kindness, but this same person can also be harsh on themselves and wholly unforgiving.

Shouldn't compassion expand to all people, including yourself? I often fall into a self-critical trap where I am angry at myself for things that, should someone else confide the same in me, I would be authentically understanding. It's hard to even write about it, but I have a sinking suspicion that I am not the only person who feels this way.

There is a very interesting test by Dr. Kristin Neff called the Self-Compassion Test. It basically measures (roughly) how much compassion you apply purely to yourself. The results might be a little alarming. My conclusion? I don't give myself nearly enough hugs. Do yourself a favor and try it as well because loving the world and others starts with your own self-worth and self-love.